I have been having a lot of very vivid dreams lately. Some even reoccurring. One of the dreams includes some individuals that hurt me. It even takes a lot for me to admit that. I am a professional, keep going and get over it kind of girl. But for some reason, these individuals, although I did not know them for a very long time, I trusted them and expected more, or maybe just different than what they delivered. Although they did not apologize, I know that it is important for me to forgive them anyway. Unforgiveness does more damage to me than it does to those that I am directing it to.
One morning after yet another dream about these individuals, I woke up very angry. Angry that these people hurt me, and now they are haunting me in my sleep. I just want to let them and the situation go. An episode of Oprah’s Soul Sunday came on the television. Oprah was interviewing Elizabeth Lesser, author of the book Marrow: A Love Story. The author shared the story about being a bone marrow donor to her sister Maggie. Although they loved each other, these sisters were very different and had many issues in their relationship. Elizabeth, went in detail about the irony that out of all the siblings she was the perfect match for Maggie. Due to the rapidly declining health of Maggie, and the seriousness of bone marrow transplant, the sisters wanted to make sure that this would be a successful procedure.
During a bone marrow transfer, the giving body can potentially ATTACK the receiving body or the receiving body can REJECT the giving body. Elizabeth shared that this theory of ATTACKING OR REJECTING was a direct reflection of the sister’s entire relationship. WOW!! So, they began going to counseling to help heal their emotional and spiritual issues . They wanted more than a physical marrow transfer, they wanted a HEALTHY SOUL TRANSFER. The sisters wanted to heal the pattern of rejecting and attacking each other in their relationship so that on the molecular level their would be no issues naturally receiving and healing. What a concept.
This really was moving to me in thinking about my own healing process. Although I am not in need of bone marrow transplant, I very much need a SOUL TRANSFER. I am doing a life overhaul as God is completely restarting my life. I am going from a place of being fully functional, working figuring everything out, to being in a place where I am completely dependent on God and others to help me to literally survive.
In that moment, while watching Soul Sunday, I decided not to fight back the tears, instead I let them flow. Letting the tears flow a necessary physcially just as much as letting the pain go spiritually. I had to forgive on a deeper level. I realized that I wasn’t so much mad at the individuals, I was more mad at myself. I was mad because I knew I should not have put myself in that situation with these individuals. I ignored my discernment and hesitation and labeled it as - fear, when it actually was God's shielding and protection.
The past situation involving those individuals is now behind me. While it's common to claim to have moved on, I am now truly in a place where I have overcome it. The situation and the people involved no longer hold power over my emotions, spirit, or well-being. I still have my life and the opportunity to improve and grow. I am a firm believer that people do the best they can for where they are. I don't think most people wake up intending to harm others. Sometimes, hurt and betrayal occur as a result of a chain of decisions and actions, creating a DOMINO EFFECT. As paradoxical as it may seem, Judas played a necessary role in the Resurrection of Jesus. The betrayal ultimately led to a blessing for many generations.
I have shared, and will continue to share, IT IS NOT WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU, BUT HOW YOU RESPOND TO IT!
When it comes to cancer, the common perception involves hair loss, breast removal, and the risk of losing one's life. However, the truth is that cancer entails a much deeper impact. In addition to these physical challenges, it forces me to scrutinize every aspect of my being: my life, habits, thought patterns, desires, fears, insecurities, weaknesses, and emotional wounds. The initial step was surgery, eliminating the physical representation of the disease to prevent its spread. The next stage is chemotherapy, a thorough cleansing at a molecular level - "CLEANING HOUSE". This is often identified as the hardest part of the treatment plan. This is where the most discomfort can occur, the level of fatigue is significant, sickness, frustration, physical changes that impact emotional changes. I am in my chemotherapy era. Doing the things that are frustrating, may even make me sick/mad that
I have to do it, but it will benefit me in the long run.
None of us wish for unfortunate events to occur to ourselves or our loved ones. Nevertheless, I understand that without those adversities, I wouldn't have gained knowledge, strength, clarity, or the empowerment I possess now. The individuals I previously blamed for hurting me and haunting me in my dreams are now seen in a new light.. They are my mile marker. They are showing me where I am on my journey. I am able to see where I am in reference to where I want to be.
Although they are not always literal, my dreams are always symbolic and very telling of the people and situations that I have tried to hide from. When I am sleep God has captured my full attention an I can't pretend everything is fine. My dreams vividly reveal not only what is wrong but they reveal the truth about what needs to be healed. Therefore, I DEAL SO I CAN HEAL. Yes, my dreams do come true. They help me to find rest once I am awake.
I enjoyed reading this insightful take on your dreams. However, I do wake up with the intent to harm people…sooooo, I’ll be handling that situation just as soon as I get 5 min. No need to thank me in advance, I gotchu😉
No but in all seriousness, I truly believe that when I am at rest God talks to me the most so that He has my undivided attention. I’m not hardheaded by choice, it’s an inadvertent reflex🤷🏾♀️ I believe I am a better woman, a better child of God, a better wife, a better mom, the bestest sister ever and better daughter simply based off the messages God has sent me at rest. Those dreams make the other messages…